Re:connecting

Reconnecting. It is such a funny word to me. I am one who sometimes takes a word and deconstructs it. Reconnecting. Once you were connected. Then you weren't. Then you were again! Reconnected!
I have recently "reconnected" with a friend from high school, and honestly, it is great! I love family stories. I remember what we were both doing before I moved, what was happening with the dynamics of her family, mine. Then a span of over 20 years! Pick up the beat again, find out how many kids we have, how our siblings are doing- amazing. So much can happen in the expanse of 20(ish) years!
It's also amazing how if you are quiet and settle your mind down, how much you can actually remember. The good,the bad, the hard to remember but you do anyway, maybe because of emotion or self realization. But you do just that. You turn that key in that specific part of your brain, and open the door. What comes out is what you put in. You re:member. Re:count. Your history.
Your life, friends lives, where you were mentally and where. The capacity for all re: things are great.
Do it. Settle down. Think of a person or, maybe, a place... re:member. Re:count; re:connect.

A friend once asked me what it is like being a single parent these days. I said though it has its challenges, I am happy being a parent. And raising a child in a happy single household is better than a coupled unhappy household. Yes, I may not be in as good of shape as I once was, when I had the time (and energy!) to go to the gym and lift weights and run miles on the track. But I still wouldn't exchange a perfect body for that of being a papa!
As a single parent, you really learn how to make the most of your free (free?) time. You shop in the 20 minutes you have before you have to pick her up from school. In the 10 minutes you have before you know she'll wake up, you take a quick shower.
But nothing, nothing compares to the joy of experiences you can have with your child. Especially us. I take time to explain things to the best of my ability, even if it means we'll be late for something. I would rather see her happy going to school in an outfit she picked out than one I know she'll look better in that I picked out.
And knowing that she will one day grow up and move out, makes all these experiences so rich for me. They are all safely bubble wrapped and tucked away in my heart. Who knows? I may pull one out someday for one of her kids to enjoy.
That's if I feel like sharing!

Well, it's been awhile since my last entry, no particular reason why, other than I have been busy figuring things out. And for those who know me, they know I can be quiet while I think things over.
One thing I know is that I am a good person. I usually put others first, do for them sometimes when I need to do for myself or my family first.
Another is I am so ready to start dating seriously. I have so many things I want to do, and most would be enjoyed so much more with a partner. I know the next man I give my heart to will be patient, loving, kind, and have a good soul. I misspelled good as god at first, my fingers flying over the key pad, and I guess I would welcome a "God soul" as well! I know he's out there, and all I have to do is be patient and open to opportunities.
And as always, I have the best daughter one could ever hope for, not that I had to figure that one out! She is becoming such an independent thinker. I marvel listening to her, watch her... I hope her life is always full of love and opportunity. Whatever she chooses for herself, I will be behind her cheering her on.
Love and light~
Patrick

Well, I've been back from my family trip to Vermont. It was a fun time!
It was so wonderful to watch Olivia enjoy the same things I did as a child- Buttermilk Falls, climbing parts of Okemo Mountain, talking on the deck, and most importantly, spending good family time together! We also went kayaking, and she even helped out several times paddling (well, if you call paddling only on one side of the kayak while papa uses his hands to help propel!). My dad pointed out the pink water lilies, and we got in for a close look. My dad says they are more rare than the yellow and white ones. I have to say, they were beautiful! And, since pink is someone specials favorite color, they were her favorite, too!
I have two images in particular stuck in my head, one of those freeze frame moments you will always remember: one, Olivia running as fast as she can down the lane by my sisters house, hair loosely put in a braid and her pink ballerina skirt flying!; second,and maybe the most precious, is Olivia in her new fairy dress that Aunty Kitty bought her leading the way up the mountain. I am quite positive that she is the only girl to climb a mountain in a fairy dress. Her back was to me, and just the way she moved as she was going, her hair, the lighting, and the sheer beauty of the mountain, singed the image in my brain for me to recall to her when she is older.
So yes, I am back, and really, happy to have more fond memories of my family. I am also happy to be home.

Change is in the air

Change is definitely in the air.
Some great, some not so great, but all good. After all, change is how we as humans grow.
Change for me is I am starting, once again, a renewed awakening of spirituality. I have to. Why? It helps me see things in a much different light. It helps me along my path of growth. I am choosing the path of using my head and not my emotional self. In healing, that is I am using my crown chakra and not my solar plexus chakra.
There are things changing in my salon- all will be good.
And I will be opening up myself for changes in my life as they unfold.
I release all the obstacles that are hindering my path, my growth, for they are just that- obstacles, just things in the way. Remove the things in your way and you can attain your goals, your path, your growth, your true self.
I am choosing the right path.

Welcome to the jungle!!

Sometimes I wonder what people would think if they came to my home. Would they think, "Jesus, some crasy a-- person lives here!" Or, "oh, this guy loves animals" or "all the artwork on the walls are originals". I think it would totally depend on when I would get visitors! You see, I do love animals and art, and as we all know, I L-O-V-E LOVE my daughter! So, if someone would to come mid week, and the pets are inside, this is what would happen: DING DONG, WOOF WOOF WOOOF WOOOOOF WOOOOOOF! ASPEN, BE QUIET! GRAB THE CAT, MAKE SURE SHE DOESN"T GET OUT! Oh, hi!" Followed by "Oh, it isn't always this crazy (yeah, right, I would be thinking to myself)" Don't mind the hairballs, let me wipe off a part of the sofa for you to sit down on, and do you want something to drink? Papa, Aspen just kissed me with his tongue! No, Aspen, NO! It's alright, Olivia, you won't get germs from his kiss. He is just saying he loves you! But I don't want him to kiss me! His breathe is stinky! Then I would get you a drink, and wish I had one, like a glass of wine!
So, lets say someone visits me on, lets say, Tuesday of the following week, and I knew you were coming over. "DING DONG. (insert quitude here, cuz the dogs are out in the back yard getting into trouble, no doubt!). I answer the door, probably holding Olivia's cat, "HI!" You'll notice that I cleaned, smells good, man, Patrick really has it together. "Come on in!"
I have to say, I was raised in a household of 6 kids, and loved every moment of it! We had all kinds of pets of one kind or another (thanks, mom, for not "accidently" letting any go!), from snakes to rabbits and cats and dogs and birds. I had to wait for my mom to be at work before I would let my parakeet, Toby, out for some "exersize", because my mom had/has a fear, no, a phobia, of flying birds. She also doesn't like little animals with beady eyes... ANYWAY, what I am trying to say by taking the scenic route, is that I wouldn't have it any other way! I love the so many things going on at once, it is something I have grown up with. When Olivia is gone, it gets quiet... sooo quiet that I check and make sure she isn't playing in her room... it is almost like phantom limb syndrome, but with a child. Phantom Child Syndrome? Does that even exist?
So, this week I will clean, get ready for our road trip out East (something we did as children, and something Olivia is going to do for the first time), and rejoice in all things crazy and quiet, for this is my life.

Happiness is...

To each and every one of us, happiness is something different.
It may be getting a phone call from an old friend. It may be sitting around your living room at the end of the day, toys/ clothes everywhere, completely exhausted, but realizing everything you've ever wanted you have- a home, a child. Or it may be a lick from your favorite pet- whatever!
I think it is really important to realize your happiness, find it if you have to, and cherish it.
For me, happiness is one of the above especially- the happiness I feel when I am near my daughter, especially in our home.
For her, I am pretty sure it is holding and singing (oh, I love when she sings!) lullabies to her kitten.
So, finish your own sentence- Happiness is _____________ .