Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Shanti shanti for my little brother.
Tomorrow will make it two years since my little brother has passed away. The day I found out, it was like someone put a glass beaker over me, and I was using up all the oxygen fast. I couldn't raise my arms to embrace him, though I felt I could, but I couldn't raise my arms. It was mind boggling that I would never hear his voice, talk with him in the early morning, or get his cards for Christmas or birthdays, or get one of his big bear hugs. I mean, how can you prepare yourself for something that is so sudden? You can't. It hasn't been easy losing the brother and friend that I was supposed to grow old with and share a home. It sometimes seemed we were on the same path both professionally and spiritually. Even after his passing, I still feel his presence in my life. There are the obvious ways: he calls me still every so rarely, though I can't hear anything on the other line, no matter how hard I try. There is also the visits in my dreams. Sometimes I feel like he wants me to join him, but I say "I'm not ready yet", and I'm left alone. I also ask him to keep an eye on us. Olivia and I. And I know he does. So little brother, thank you for the time we spent together on Earth. Though we aren't physically together, spiritually we have never been apart. Love you so much! And, to quote you, shanti shanti! (Peace, Peace)