Monday, November 11, 2013

I've been doing lots of quiet contemplation lately. Just sitting with my thoughts, actively bringing them to the forefront of my thinking. For me, it was always easy to think about what I needed to improve my life. My brain would race and come up with ideas to make those thoughts a reality. I would stress over it, rethink what I thought was the direct route to my happiness. It was always such an active process mentally, and it was tiring. So a few months ago I wanted to change something. Not just act on those thoughts. Think, quietly about them. Were the choices I've made the right choices? I slowed down. I stopped. I gave myself the luxury of time. And I've decided, or come to realize, that though all my choices may not have been the best, I am very happy with where I've come as a person. It became quite clear tonight as I was watching my daughter, in the kitchen, pour herself a glass of green tea. Everything that I've done, thought, prayed for, stressed over, cried over, fought for ALL OF MY LIFE came to that one moment of Olivia pouring herself a glass of tea. I stopped. And I was happy. I am exactly where I need to be right now.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Illinois joins the other 14 states that voted for marriage equality! When I heard the news, I was home making dinner for me and my daughter. I was so thrilled! I later went on Facebook and saw my friends and their partners kissing, holding each other, and many posted pics from their civil unions! I kinda felt like sharing the news with someone! But instead, I kinda felt like the only single guy at a New Years party when it strikes midnight - no one to kiss! Being single is fine right now, but I know in the future I will be looking to put a ring on it. I think many of us would welcome a partner. Someone to share your life experiences with. The ups, downs, slows and fasts of it all. Someone to help walk the dog. Take turns cooking, or cooking together. Someone to snuggle with on the sofa and watch American Horror Story! Ah, romance! Till then I'll be Papa Patrick, living life, happily, as a single dad.