Friday, October 17, 2014

Growing up, I used to hear the word "cope" a lot. It was one of those words people used in the "self help" circles, or the Leo Buscaglia books my mom used to read. People talked about "coping" a lot, and to be honest, it was a word I never liked. It rubbed me the wrong way when I learned what the word meant. It seemed like such a cop out word. If it were popular today I could imagine the word on Facebook or Instagram looking like this: #cope #coping#allyoucandoiscope. UGH! And I ended up hitching that word to the music of Marilyn McCoo, Diane Warwick, Barbra Streisand, all strong female voices that mom used to listen to, singing their words that mom could relate to. I would often sit back and listen to my mom sing along with those ladies (she actually DID have a good singing voice!) and think I was privy to a private world that only women would ever understand. Lyrics like "One less, bell to answer; one less, egg to FRRYYYYYYY" "Killing me softly" etc. etc. Then this past week happened. My car broke down an hour and a half outside of the city while I was with my daughter. We got a ride home from my wonderful friend Candi. "Dang Mercury in Retrograde" I swore at the direction I thought Mercury in Retrograde would be (somewhere up there, you know, starside). Then Monday happened. I really, really, REALLY starting feeling the loss of my brother. I was actually reaching for the phone to give him a call, and shocked myself thinking that that would no longer happen. All I wanted to do was say hi and catch up. That set me in a funk. I would never be able to do that again. So after a week of hiding my mood (yeah, not very well), I was doing some soul searching for answers. I meditated. I was quiet with myself. I drank some wine (I never do that! Well, alone at least). And you know what my answer was? Cope. It has new meaning for me now. It doesn't mean, "you will never get what you want ever again. So deal!". Rather, it means "be good to yourself. You're going through a rough patch, and I know you are strong enough to pull through. But in the meantime, you need to be ok with loss, sadness, hardships, as it leads to self growth and self realization. You will need to cope." So thanks M
om, Barbra, Leo, Marilyn and Diane! I'm doing my best at this "coping" thing.