tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25503661422388534422024-03-05T17:17:05.192-08:00Papa PatrickMy life as a single (gay) dad.Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.comBlogger93125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-39046582887161942022016-02-09T09:25:00.001-08:002016-02-09T09:25:21.942-08:00Shanti shanti for my little brother.Tomorrow will make it two years since my little brother has passed away.
The day I found out, it was like someone put a glass beaker over me, and I was using up all the oxygen fast. I couldn't raise my arms to embrace him, though I felt I could, but I couldn't raise my arms. It was mind boggling that I would never hear his voice, talk with him in the early morning, or get his cards for Christmas or birthdays, or get one of his big bear hugs. I mean, how can you prepare yourself for something that is so sudden? You can't.
It hasn't been easy losing the brother and friend that I was supposed to grow old with and share a home.
It sometimes seemed we were on the same path both professionally and spiritually. Even after his passing, I still feel his presence in my life. There are the obvious ways: he calls me still every so rarely, though I can't hear anything on the other line, no matter how hard I try. There is also the visits in my dreams. Sometimes I feel like he wants me to join him, but I say "I'm not ready yet", and I'm left alone. I also ask him to keep an eye on us. Olivia and I. And I know he does.
So little brother, thank you for the time we spent together on Earth. Though we aren't physically together, spiritually we have never been apart. Love you so much! And, to quote you, shanti shanti! (Peace, Peace)Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-57224253259122501132016-01-25T18:50:00.000-08:002016-01-25T18:50:20.711-08:00OMG I can't believe it has been so long since I"ve written!
I plan on being a little more prolific this year. Yikes!
So, since April a quick "Papa Patrick in Review"!
Summer was pretty much used up raising a litter of beautiful goldendoodle pups. At the end of summer, as a little preschool vacation, Olivia and I went to a water resort in the Wisconsin Dells. Honestly, we had such a good time! It was a little chilly, but we still had a great time!
Then, my little one started FOURTH grade! Yikes, can't believe it! She is growing up so fast. And I am proud of all her accomplishments.
New Years Eve was spent taking care of mom/grandma in Wisconsin. She was hit by a car in October and has been slowly gaining strength ever since. God bless that lady! Olivia and I did our traditional "burning ceremony" (just ask if you don't know!), and to our delight, my mom wrote up her list too and Olivia and I burnt it along with ours at midnight.
Grieving still goes on for me in regards to my brother. Signs are everywhere that he is still with me, and I believe it.
He was such a big personality in our family, and is sorely missed.
Well that's about it for now- stay tuned for more in 2016!Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-15857126405928521322015-04-19T17:30:00.000-07:002015-04-19T17:30:00.672-07:00It's interesting to me, how one's life, after it has passed, is replaced and somewhat reduced to memories, boxes of books, diaries, and flashes of momentos in received cards, notes, photographs.
Today I drove up to Milwaukee to pick up my brothers art work. My moms building had been sold, and after 31 years of memory making (birthdays, graduations, Christmases, parties) she had to find a new place. It seems as though she is holding it together pretty well and getting excited about a new home. It was <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-XE7oVWnQDb2d9ijdFKjexXjDM4l69yfDbEAnJPO1s3g75LXF_csburXkJoAt5Rm6dEiu4B2-rLaKvD8449Rq7kHHYxHgVwLjZBeAyRf-Zs8Q5VDAmyEyeSI65nHPO3Ew-be01zltvia2/s1600/IMG_1683.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-XE7oVWnQDb2d9ijdFKjexXjDM4l69yfDbEAnJPO1s3g75LXF_csburXkJoAt5Rm6dEiu4B2-rLaKvD8449Rq7kHHYxHgVwLjZBeAyRf-Zs8Q5VDAmyEyeSI65nHPO3Ew-be01zltvia2/s320/IMG_1683.jpg" /></a></div>sad for me to walk around the apartment for one last time, seeing many things already packed into labelled boxes, and just allowing myself to feel and remember.
My brother really didn't do anything small scale. There were many large pieces, some not finished, that are four feet by eight feet. At times I couldn't hold it together and cried quietly. His art amazed me. So unique. So incredibly John.
Not only did I pick up his art, but also his books and diaries. My brother was amazing. His diaries are chock full of pictures, notes, letters, sketches. Looking through one especially made me stop. It appears to be a notebook, plain page, of homework assignments, with the teachers notes taped or sticky noted on the sides. The whole book is pure art. It is also has sketches, photocopied pictures, and poetry. Looking at the notebook, I see where and how he got some ideas for his art. It all came together in that book!
I miss my wickedly talented brother so immensely. His was a very special life, one cut way too short.
His box of books, diaries and some of his art I now am custodian of.
Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-78954508253633864442015-03-12T08:04:00.000-07:002015-03-12T08:05:35.571-07:00SPPRRRRIIIINNNNGGGGG is almost here! I feel it in the air! Well, at least it has been over 50 degrees :)
I'm coming up with new plans for the back garden (the "urban farm"), and I'm excited! Olivia and I have been busy planting veggie and flower seeds inside, and I've been brushing up on best egg laying breeds for chickens. Chicago seems to have lifted the "6 only" rule as far as the number of chickens one can own. I don't think I'll go over 6, as it is just Olivia and I eating eggs, and even with just 6 working girls, I'll still have some extra to share! I am building a new chicken coop, one that will be a little easier for me to get in and out of. We've kinda outgrown the cedar playhouse (thought it was so CUTE!!), and am now going to build something I can actually stand up in! I'm really excited about that! They will also have a larger outdoor run to be in when I'm not home to let them free range.
The whole right side will be for growing food! I get really excited about this!
Stay tuned! I'll post some pics when I get them!Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-40061519252428531052015-02-16T19:13:00.000-08:002015-02-16T19:13:36.892-08:00Well, a year has come and gone since the passing of my little brother John. And you know what? It still is hard. There are times when I would give anything to call him and tell him silly things like "it's snowing the HUGE globe snowflakes you like!"or "did you watch this years AHS? I didn't. Couldn't get past the clowns". I know there is no time limit to grief.
And life goes on. New life happens. The rest of us are still here. We try and move forward, those of us who really knew him know it isn't always easy. So many things that stir up memories. Time for a pause. Ok, time to pick up and go again... and repeat.
The life of a soul never really dies. It's energy that keeps on going, moving forward, transforming into something else. And I think I see that energy in the snowflakes. Feel it in the cold he liked. In the colors of autumn. In a silly laugh I hear.
All around me, my brother.Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-21698538013448236172014-12-31T08:27:00.001-08:002014-12-31T08:28:45.508-08:00The eve of a New Year. Time for reflection of the past year.
2014 will go down as probably the most unbalanced of my life! February brought the miracle of birth, with our dog Gracie giving birth to 11 wonderful, beautiful puppies. That was an amazing experience that I was fortunate to share with her. She woke me up to tell me "it's time!".
Not even a week later I got a call from the Ft. Lauderdale police telling me my brother had passed away. He was younger than I, and I thought it was a bad joke for about two minutes on the phone with the officer. It very quickly escalated and I knew, sadly, it was no joke. I'm not sure if the pain of missing someone you were so close to ever goes away, or ever subdues. The memories I have with John have been seared into every inch of my brain, and he is such a big part of who and why I am the man I am today. Protective, yes. Looking out for him when I could.
My family lost another member, too. My Uncle Tom. What an amazing person he was, too! A gentle man. I remember staying with my sister Liz at TomnNancy's (they were one name!) after my parents divorced and we moved back to the Midwest. They treated us like their own. I am forever thankful for those two hearts!
My extended family (family too) also lost a big person, too- "Aunt Marsha". She was quirky in a good way. She talked sooo fast! She also did the business' payroll and book keeping.
It wasn't all sadness. I had a great year in the garden. My chickens produced enough eggs to share. I gave away some tomatoes. I learned about composting!
Tonight at midnight Olivia and I will continue our tradition of writing down two lists and burning them. I believe in some traditions it is called a fire puja. On our first list, we write down the negative things in our life: things that hold us back, negative emotions, whatever we want. The second list is what our aspirations are for the new year. The negative list gets burned first. It is a great moment! The second list then gets burned, and when that one is lit, it is lit with hope and faith. Try it!
So yes, reflect on your year but none of us have the luxury to dwell in it. Great the first morning of 2015 with a positive thought, and let that positive energy be your way in 2015!
Happy New Year!!!Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-15709862581201460592014-12-21T18:37:00.000-08:002014-12-21T18:37:16.366-08:00I am in awe of my daughter. She is young, but darn it if she doesn't do selfless things that put a big 'ol smile on my face and joy in my heart. Today she opened her presents from Grandma and her two aunts. She got some good gifts, and also some cash (that's what she asked for!). She was telling me the things she wanted to buy; a horse set from Whole Foods, $5 to play games at the theater, and the rest to get some other toys. After we drove Grandma and Aunt Midge to the train station, we drove to the theater to catch an early show of "Annie". Traffic was heavy, but we weren't in a rush. I was seeing drivers getting frustrated that it went down to one lane from two, people cutting themselves off, head shakes, the whole 9 yards as Christmas music was playing on the radio. Then on the median, Olivia spotted a homeless man with a sign, asking for money.
She said, "dad, I want to give this man some of my money". I asked if she was sure, she said yes. So we rolled down her window, the homeless man came up to the car, and I saw a little hand give the man one of her $5 bills. He seemed so happy! He said thank you so much, I heard a little "you're welcome" from the back seat, and the man just smiled and was so thankful. As we inched forward, I asked her why she wanted to give that man some of her Christmas money, that I was just curious as to why. She said "He's homeless. It looks like he could use some money." My heart melted. I almost cried. But most of all, I wish I could have just jumped into the back seat and gave her a hug! I said I'm sure the man could use the $5 to get something to eat, and that what she did was amazing. She showed me the true meaning of Christmas :)Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-78312883171258621362014-10-17T17:35:00.000-07:002014-10-17T17:35:45.385-07:00Growing up, I used to hear the word "cope" a lot. It was one of those words people used in the "self help" circles, or the Leo Buscaglia books my mom used to read. People talked about "coping" a lot, and to be honest, it was a word I never liked. It rubbed me the wrong way when I learned what the word meant. It seemed like such a cop out word. If it were popular today I could imagine the word on Facebook or Instagram looking like this: #cope #coping#allyoucandoiscope. UGH! And I ended up hitching that word to the music of Marilyn McCoo, Diane Warwick, Barbra Streisand, all strong female voices that mom used to listen to, singing their words that mom could relate to. I would often sit back and listen to my mom sing along with those ladies (she actually DID have a good singing voice!) and think I was privy to a private world that only women would ever understand. Lyrics like "One less, bell to answer; one less, egg to FRRYYYYYYY" "Killing me softly" etc. etc.
Then this past week happened. My car broke down an hour and a half outside of the city while I was with my daughter. We got a ride home from my wonderful friend Candi. "Dang Mercury in Retrograde" I swore at the direction I thought Mercury in Retrograde would be (somewhere up there, you know, starside). Then Monday happened. I really, really, REALLY starting feeling the loss of my brother. I was actually reaching for the phone to give him a call, and shocked myself thinking that that would no longer happen. All I wanted to do was say hi and catch up. That set me in a funk. I would never be able to do that again.
So after a week of hiding my mood (yeah, not very well), I was doing some soul searching for answers. I meditated. I was quiet with myself. I drank some wine (I never do that! Well, alone at least). And you know what my answer was? Cope. It has new meaning for me now. It doesn't mean, "you will never get what you want ever again. So deal!". Rather, it means "be good to yourself. You're going through a rough patch, and I know you are strong enough to pull through. But in the meantime, you need to be ok with loss, sadness, hardships, as it leads to self growth and self realization. You will need to cope."
So thanks M<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj_acZLhpbMrVo5VVCZBhhrFQMBtx-oK6PlgekzPnnMAG8-ImTA2HEvHxgufTbPtn7Tn4NLM-dhdZW_XGmAqadPFbrYoj-pLEspenVpDx4-b1RLWxFLcdf3c1PJOpUWAqclgcv4W-Esqe2/s1600/IMG_1028.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj_acZLhpbMrVo5VVCZBhhrFQMBtx-oK6PlgekzPnnMAG8-ImTA2HEvHxgufTbPtn7Tn4NLM-dhdZW_XGmAqadPFbrYoj-pLEspenVpDx4-b1RLWxFLcdf3c1PJOpUWAqclgcv4W-Esqe2/s320/IMG_1028.jpg" /></a></div>om, Barbra, Leo, Marilyn and Diane! I'm doing my best at this "coping" thing.
Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-48102736950719749212014-09-15T10:53:00.000-07:002014-09-15T10:57:21.474-07:00Well it's September 15th, and summer is unofficially over. I welcome the autumn season! Around here, that means doing a big house cleaning before I pull out the rugs. Rugs go away in late spring to get cleaned and put away during the warmer days of summer, when the windows open up and let fresh air in, and the morning air cools the old hardwood floors. In colder months it's always nice to put your feet on something warm.
I've learned a lot in the garden this year. I learned that amending the soil with organic dirt means a bumper crop of tomatoes. On the subject of tomatoes, give them lots of room to grow! They like stretching their limbs and expanding.
I've also learned that adding some new chickens to an established group takes a little time. I learned to add the newbies at night, around 11 p.m. to confuse the older "ladies". I also learned what pecking order really means. Ouch!
The ladies continue to lay delicious eggs. Actually, enough to give away to friends and neighbors.
I've also learned about rabbits. Did you know that momma rabbits only feed their young twice a day? Not good when there is a late bunch born, and it is cold. Our rabbit had babies (kits) and as a result, we are hand rearing the sole survivor. He/she looks just like momma. And he is doing well!
So, as you can deduce from my post, it was a year of learning about the garden and urban homesteading.
I look forward to next year, using my composted chicken/rabbit/tea/etc. compost to make an even more tasty garden next year! And who knows, maybe even make that raised garden bed I was meaning to make this past year!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVxCWOAvZNY3UwUEoBqiRmaExA5mPCTqsNpANB6TlZCIXkCLtTEdKeq6Iq-emmXXdLdPhlNoWmenUoeM5Fo-96Yx1XXUWsThHRBSvEqxUG8aF_1ijbofrCSlHyxZIhP95NjGs9CPIsxaxz/s1600/IMG_0605.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVxCWOAvZNY3UwUEoBqiRmaExA5mPCTqsNpANB6TlZCIXkCLtTEdKeq6Iq-emmXXdLdPhlNoWmenUoeM5Fo-96Yx1XXUWsThHRBSvEqxUG8aF_1ijbofrCSlHyxZIhP95NjGs9CPIsxaxz/s320/IMG_0605.jpg" /></a></div>
Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-79646582070740031112014-05-19T18:44:00.000-07:002014-05-19T18:44:38.980-07:00The last pup is about to go his new home, and then it is training time for my little girl! What a great experience that was, although it was a TON of work. It made me happy to know that the puppies are making families happy.
The garden is coming along well. Planted some good veggies and a few herbs, so fingers crossed in a few months I'll be heading to the garden for dinner!
ALL the chickens made it through this brutal winter. Not only did they make it, but their egg production is back on full force! Already sold a couple dozen, the money going back into their feed.
Spring seems to finally be here! School is out next month, so O will be going to some camps, Michigan, maybe gymnastics, and of course, GRANDMA!
Hope your spring finds you happy!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmSPHwb2cjI_TwBG_-Hb7MmL-2kYbhtE0d-2Kw-zXRo7Kg_7udPj2DERqIhSpgt5qpbI_MUidmnQg3hLfgrYg6pVNa-l2Go7zuGF-gRnCOXciwywc2OyV_87RQVeuAGhzDmlvnxxn9q5nI/s1600/IMG_1504.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmSPHwb2cjI_TwBG_-Hb7MmL-2kYbhtE0d-2Kw-zXRo7Kg_7udPj2DERqIhSpgt5qpbI_MUidmnQg3hLfgrYg6pVNa-l2Go7zuGF-gRnCOXciwywc2OyV_87RQVeuAGhzDmlvnxxn9q5nI/s320/IMG_1504.jpg" /></a></div>Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-25038598264401206792014-05-01T07:20:00.000-07:002014-05-01T07:20:57.539-07:00Oh, what a horrible winter this was. Two major things happened; first, my dog Grace had a litter of 11 beautiful puppies! The following weekend, my mom came down for a visit. It was a nice visit, always is, when mom comes into town. Olivia and I dropped her off at the train station on Sunday as we always do. The next morning, I drive Olivia to school. Mondays are harder days for me anyway, as those are the days when Olivia goes to stay with her other dad for the week. On the drive home, I am overcome with emotions of family. I start crying. I think it was my mom leaving, Olivia going away for a week, and the new litter. I get home, and I leave my phone on the table so I can clean the whelping box ( a box used for delivering pups, and they stay in it for awhile). I am halfway through and the phone rings. I'll return the call when I get done. Then it rings again. And again. And again. I see I have a voicemail. I listen, and it is my younger brothers partner telling me to call the Ft. Lauderdale police, and he leaves the number. A rush of thoughts came through my head, "was he in trouble? Did he get beat up?" But nothing, NOTHING prepared me for the call I made to the police.
"We regret to inform you your brother John has passed away." Silence. "What?" I respond. "We regret to inform you your brother John has passed away". I think it's a bad joke. He's younger than me. Works out regularly. He's my little brother. "No. That can't be. He's young". "Sir, please call (number inserted), as this is where the body will be delivered, and they can assist you further. We are sorry for your loss. Please call your brothers friend, he has been here with the body. Again, sorry for your loss." I hang up. I call my brothers partner. He tells me they think John died of a massive heart attack. I can't stop crying. For John. For me. For his partner. I call my family to tell everyone. Most don't answer, as it is Monday and we all work. I get ahold of my dad. Disbelief. I give him the number to call, as he lives in Florida as well. My sister calls back. "NO!" is what I hear. "Please pick up mom from work and tell her". "I will... oh, Patrick.."
My brother was cremated, and there were two services; one in Ft. Lauderdale with his wonderful partner and some family and MANY friends, and one in Milwaukee where we grew up. It took me awhile to write the eulogy... I didn't want to believe my brother was gone... and had the support of my oldest sister while reading it.
A day hasn't gone by without me thinking of him. Missing him. I listen to old messages he left on voicemail.
I am going to miss those silly texts. The "Happy Neeeeeew Yeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrssssss, Patrick! OOOH, another year!"
But really, I am going to miss my little brother most. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSp48uk4xhD0a7o77q2j0EQ9ajOWDwlROKwPj_lJ8kb7_dqxdQ_5zCMuc_5BpG6j3AUzAxxIzuiuTF6vYZrQZOQvWCALhCaI5KWrD_ts-CgzF9BAzBB5UjCruHFA2dIVe3XcTmpg9sVhXW/s1600/IMG_1025.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSp48uk4xhD0a7o77q2j0EQ9ajOWDwlROKwPj_lJ8kb7_dqxdQ_5zCMuc_5BpG6j3AUzAxxIzuiuTF6vYZrQZOQvWCALhCaI5KWrD_ts-CgzF9BAzBB5UjCruHFA2dIVe3XcTmpg9sVhXW/s320/IMG_1025.JPG" /></a>
Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-37569568454638513492013-11-11T22:20:00.000-08:002013-11-11T22:22:25.692-08:00I've been doing lots of quiet contemplation lately. Just sitting with my thoughts, actively bringing them to the forefront of my thinking. For me, it was always easy to think about what I needed to improve my life. My brain would race and come up with ideas to make those thoughts a reality. I would stress over it, rethink what I thought was the direct route to my happiness. It was always such an active process mentally, and it was tiring. So a few months ago I wanted to change something. Not just act on those thoughts. Think, quietly about them. Were the choices I've made the right choices? I slowed down. I stopped. I gave myself the luxury of time. And I've decided, or come to realize, that though all my choices may not have been the best, I am very happy with where I've come as a person. It became quite clear tonight as I was watching my daughter, in the kitchen, pour herself a glass of green tea. Everything that I've done, thought, prayed for, stressed over, cried over, fought for ALL OF MY LIFE came to that one moment of Olivia pouring herself a glass of tea. I stopped. And I was happy. I am exactly where I need to be right now.Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-65804684621868441382013-11-06T10:11:00.002-08:002013-11-06T12:24:44.517-08:00Illinois joins the other 14 states that voted for marriage equality!
When I heard the news, I was home making dinner for me and my daughter. I was so thrilled! I later went on Facebook and saw my friends and their partners kissing, holding each other, and many posted pics from their civil unions! I kinda felt like sharing the news with someone! But instead, I kinda felt like the only single guy at a New Years party when it strikes midnight - no one to kiss!
Being single is fine right now, but I know in the future I will be looking to put a ring on it. I think many of us would welcome a partner. Someone to share your life experiences with. The ups, downs, slows and fasts of it all. Someone to help walk the dog. Take turns cooking, or cooking together. Someone to snuggle with on the sofa and watch American Horror Story! Ah, romance!
Till then I'll be Papa Patrick, living life, happily, as a single dad.
Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-80189859093279935652013-09-05T09:21:00.000-07:002013-09-05T09:28:34.437-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt0DJGg8fSirKkTiwxdUPHto4utmn7aSneVaPaHyCyf8IJ9s9LQvWb6m2qLPH8UlIiO1Uy0JevzWBshVVweDwWJB__pPs9K485yj8G33zsailooIsSCoYz5Mpa1HLLnfwSXR1ebsHLQQSl/s1600/IMG_0602.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt0DJGg8fSirKkTiwxdUPHto4utmn7aSneVaPaHyCyf8IJ9s9LQvWb6m2qLPH8UlIiO1Uy0JevzWBshVVweDwWJB__pPs9K485yj8G33zsailooIsSCoYz5Mpa1HLLnfwSXR1ebsHLQQSl/s320/IMG_0602.jpg" /></a></div>OK. I'm doing it. I'm cleaning out Olivia's old bedroom here at the house (she's since moved into a larger room). At first I was sooo excited to get the room cleared out to make room for a home office. Then I started cleaning off her old dresser. And I noticed, again, her attempt to beautify her dresser with some stickers and hand paint. I started feeling bad about wiping off the paint. So, I stopped. I rolled up the rug that kept her little feet warm when she got out of bed in the morning, so she wouldn't have to put them on the cool hard wood floor. I noticed that her cat had scratched up pieces of it, and as I rolled, little sparkles fell off as did little plastic hearts, beads... Next step was to take down the hanging butterflies. Oh, this was getting hard! As I was taking them off the wall and the ones hanging from the ceiling, I'm realizing that my little girl is growing up. She no longer wants the carpet, the butterflies, the dresser. UGH! It is such a wonderful experience watching a child grow, but times like this make me feel nostalgic and want to put on the brakes! And those darn whimsical butterflies... well, they may make an appearance in her new bedroom. Just because dad says so.Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-73721039323939913042013-08-19T16:22:00.000-07:002013-08-19T16:22:03.857-07:00What a week I am coming down from! I spent the week in Michigan helping Olivia with the Berrien Co. Youth Fair. She had blast, saw some friends, rode lots of rides, and showed her llama Bandita and rabbit Mr. Gray! It was such a good experience for her, and I am thankful she is part of it.
Now I am at home and tending to my small flock of pets/ animals and garden. I've been enjoying heirloom tomatoes and fresh eggs. My red peppers are getting bigger, too. It all makes me so happy! I think Mr. Gray is both happy to be back home in his garden and also sad that he isn't surrounded by lots of like species. The chickens are definitely happy I'm back, as they get some good free ranging time. They must think of me as the "leader of the pack" so to speak, as they are never very far from where I am at any given time.
I planted comfrey for tea (my Aunt Gail gave me a plant as a kid and I enjoyed it!) and that is doing well. I also learned it is good for chickens, as it helps them ward off parasites that could affect their health. My Aunt is one of those amazing people that teaches what she knows. She is also one of the first people I know that started things organically. I remember seeing eggs shells and I don't know what else in a jar in her kitchen that she used to feed her plants. She also started my knowledge of plants, composting, and anything natural. Thanks, Gail!
Another great thing about this past weekend was my involvement with the llamas at my old ranch (Northwind Llama Ranch). I really loved watching them, getting my hands dirty with trimming their nails (they get quite long!), breeding, and honestly, just being in the pasture with them. It gives me great joy that Olivia is around them.
So yeah, I feel quite blessed. What a week! :)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3RLp9A2fIpD9vsSt0h_2flOnwNtK9QYBmwIRKA9XGlsmqlUa1NHmaRLRyGXKjUNe3m8T9iLGGr66gi-8CpwfAt32q8EiFeHh5v4Hdx_2yen3Mno33SeEfm9NT-TBRD40nQZciXE2JTjS6/s1600/IMG_0526.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3RLp9A2fIpD9vsSt0h_2flOnwNtK9QYBmwIRKA9XGlsmqlUa1NHmaRLRyGXKjUNe3m8T9iLGGr66gi-8CpwfAt32q8EiFeHh5v4Hdx_2yen3Mno33SeEfm9NT-TBRD40nQZciXE2JTjS6/s320/IMG_0526.jpg" /></a></div>
Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-60124846336786963212013-08-01T19:09:00.000-07:002013-08-01T19:09:52.841-07:00Well, tonight the neighbors on either side of me met "the girls" (a.k.a. the chickens). My neighbor to the right of me loved seeing them and went and got her son to come out and see them. Olivia and I got our picture taken with Black Road, a friendly hen. I gave her a half dozen eggs and she thanked me and said they would eat them tomorrow. :)
My neighbor on the left kind of had a "huh?" look on her face when I introduced the girls to her. She was curious about them, said she never hears them, and that she never knew they were here! She and her husband will be the next to get a half dozen. Gotta keep the neighbors happy!
I'm loving my home this summer especially! Not only am I getting good eggs, the heirloom tomatoes are beginning to look ripe, the red peppers have little red peppers on them, the comfry (for tea) is doing well, as is the mint (you really can't kill mint). I'm not sure about the watermelon, if that will produce fruit or not seeing that we planted them a little late. Olivia has eaten all the green beans off of our one little bean plant (we started a seed last fall and it is still in its pot, alongside a fig tree (well, maybe "tree" is pushing it!) that I planted from the pit of a fig I got at the Santa Cruz farmers market last March while I was with my TM teacher.
So all in all, things are going very well. Still "playing" with and in my garden, having fun with the dogs, cats, chickens, rabbit (great fertilizer!),and, of course, enjoying Olivia and our swimming at the pool near our house. We go to Michigan for the Berrien County Youth Fair in two weeks where she will show said rabbit and her llama Bandita. Keep your fingers crossed! Not worried about the llama, but the rabbit has been enjoying food this year!
So yeah, things are going very well. I'm loving it!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOHFnG12jX-ZZuofiDR10rWIUgyGM835Q2mWp64N_JzI7hu3EWJopHnwLIh5sCtL1-m0GwpQyx-6PGTd8BfAW87L3z_P_a9cLdeUjerue39-StOPLVKwc_C7lI1a85T2cd624vKgcSgNsl/s1600/IMG_1698.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOHFnG12jX-ZZuofiDR10rWIUgyGM835Q2mWp64N_JzI7hu3EWJopHnwLIh5sCtL1-m0GwpQyx-6PGTd8BfAW87L3z_P_a9cLdeUjerue39-StOPLVKwc_C7lI1a85T2cd624vKgcSgNsl/s320/IMG_1698.JPG" /></a></div>Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-3397676568560794192013-07-28T13:35:00.000-07:002013-07-28T13:35:22.781-07:00What a great weekend I've had so far!
Friday night I went to hear monks chanting at Lighthouse Yoga in Evanston. It was beautiful! There were moments when I seemed to transcend that yoga room. It was an incredible experience.
And this morning I enjoyed eggs from my girls! And I had yet another double yolker, which makes it 5 double yolkers since I started getting eggs from my girls (around a month!). I see it as a good sign.
It's amazing what is happening when you talk care of animals. I have been trying out rabbit manure (POO!) as a fertilizer to see how it does, so I put it in two areas of my backyard about two weeks ago. When I let the girls out to scratch and forage, they seemed to be drawn to that area and started scratching. Wouldn't you know, but that area had so many fat earthworms in it!! It was really cool to see! So I know now that rabbit manure would be good in areas of ones yard that needs to be aerated and get nutrients. I can't wait to try the chicken manure next! That is supposed to be nitrogen rich, but has to break down a bit before used.
I am thankful for the things I am learning on my small farm in the city! <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbsEn2zQ9RxWSVzXHKAtsUMrkLMVKa3FiBbFIX3N-062qbC8o8FgAnczclgaZ44Gzw2yvE4QHPaOIHlZ7lUxfY_ejVJy_qvOBo59lmHfvgEq6JEmwSoyqLt4uuFvcCTjnMoGHhQN8uni2c/s1600/999082_10153090583455271_346073999_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbsEn2zQ9RxWSVzXHKAtsUMrkLMVKa3FiBbFIX3N-062qbC8o8FgAnczclgaZ44Gzw2yvE4QHPaOIHlZ7lUxfY_ejVJy_qvOBo59lmHfvgEq6JEmwSoyqLt4uuFvcCTjnMoGHhQN8uni2c/s320/999082_10153090583455271_346073999_n.jpg" /></a>Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-77246127177543457262013-07-09T19:53:00.000-07:002013-07-09T19:53:08.041-07:00Just a quick post to let everyone know OUR CHICKENS STARTED LAYING EGGS!!! Olivia and I were soooo happy to see the first little egg in the coop! You would have thought it was the perfect Christmas gift received!!
And, when I cracked one open to make Fullers French Toast (an old french toast recipe my Grandpa Fuller made up), the egg had two yolks in it! I took that as a good thing, like an omen for prosperity! Yaaaay chickens!Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-81427380846128835092013-06-25T20:14:00.002-07:002013-06-25T20:14:43.430-07:00What a great summer so far. Family. LOTS of family lately, and I love it. Dad and Christine visiting from Florida. Family coming together to welcome home my sister and her two daughters. Food, love, conversation, laughter. My sister, mom, two nieces AND my daughter sharing a dinner at my table. More love, food, conversation and laughter! My daughter eating nearly two ears of corn. Memories. Love. Family. I feel like the luckiest person alive for this. Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-7471748759756859612013-06-05T18:32:00.001-07:002013-06-05T18:32:34.459-07:00I love Dr. Seuss. The messages in it are great for kids, and a wonderful reminder for adults, too.
This is taken from his story "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!"
Today you are you! That is truer than true!
There is no one alive who is you-er than you!
Shout loud, "I am lucky to be what I am!
Thank goodness I'm not just a clam or a ham
Or a dusty old jar of sour gooseberry jam!
I am what I am! That's a great thing to be!
If I say so myself, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!"
Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-42749304789203927892013-05-16T06:32:00.000-07:002013-05-16T06:37:10.559-07:00Favorite time of the day.Mornings. They have got to be my favorite time of the day! I usually sit on my back porch with the pups looking out over the garden. Today, like the past few days, I've been treated to the fragrance of fresh lilacs- they smell <i>so good!<i>
I also listen to the sounds around me. The birds at the feeder. The neighbor with her new baby on her back porch sweetly talking to her. The goings on of "the girls" (a.k.a. the chickens). It's a good time to <i>just be.</i>
How about you? What's your favorite time of day?Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-8297682635938023062013-05-02T20:29:00.000-07:002013-05-02T20:30:02.184-07:00Yep, it hit me. I think I <i>am</i> a hippy!
Why?
Well, for one thing, I'm trying to live as organically as possible. Sheets on the bed? Organic cotton. Milk for O in the fridge? Organic Skim. Even the sugar is organic. And not to mention the new additions to the back yard. And my love of gardening! And not just the active act of gardening, but the joy of sitting back and watching the happenings of the garden. I am <i>thrilled</i> that I've seen bumble bee's! And even a cool looking bird that looks like a chickadee, but with a black and white head. I even want to build a little deck of sorts <i>in</i> the garden to meditate on.
I guess living in Chicago wouldn't make me a real hippy, but maybe an urban hippy! And that's ok with me. I love my city!
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKTJzFLY5zMII7-srwMTerapGM7mY0MS4r9zlHsG_DwseK-HOB1iMcDiHh35A9X6A-mSlilhLP-no38b2ddp0H_TH8WGbyqKj0xshiK-8nJrK3ePYubY15QJlZmCSPAxPQgExH2sWkTibg/s1600/IMG_1544.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKTJzFLY5zMII7-srwMTerapGM7mY0MS4r9zlHsG_DwseK-HOB1iMcDiHh35A9X6A-mSlilhLP-no38b2ddp0H_TH8WGbyqKj0xshiK-8nJrK3ePYubY15QJlZmCSPAxPQgExH2sWkTibg/s320/IMG_1544.jpg" /></a>Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-10181508605267121902013-04-26T17:57:00.000-07:002013-04-26T17:59:01.632-07:00Well here we are in late April and it is <i>finally</i> starting to feel like SPRING!
April showers, if the saying is correct, should bring upon us a MONSOON of May flowers!
So far so good with the chickens. I repurposed Olivia's old cedar playhouse into a kinda nice (I feel!) coop for the girls.
Right now there are six, but that number will go down to three. The other three will be living in llama-land in Michigan.
This group of young chickens are pretty friendly! They have no fear, so when I or Olivia are taking care of them, they let us stroke their feathers, peck at our shoe laces, and eat right out of our hands! It has been a pretty good adventure for the two of us. We just can't wait for the yummy eggs!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgozYfmkOQ8KiXa-rVjSamXHlHTykq390ai9Exe00t4xOqWlY2U7khyphenhyphen4azPPooZMJisLUY3oSqGsEwUbUh8RwE96Cf4kTHD0PqpiGWSzX-6zr5_SGqvll-KIa-3_DsNIYdppEQkyZEws8KK/s1600/IMG_2146.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgozYfmkOQ8KiXa-rVjSamXHlHTykq390ai9Exe00t4xOqWlY2U7khyphenhyphen4azPPooZMJisLUY3oSqGsEwUbUh8RwE96Cf4kTHD0PqpiGWSzX-6zr5_SGqvll-KIa-3_DsNIYdppEQkyZEws8KK/s320/IMG_2146.jpg" /></a>Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-35162755592289095222013-03-19T09:21:00.001-07:002013-03-19T09:21:28.957-07:00WHOA!
I realized that I haven't written a post in almost a year! I'll try not to make it a habit.
So, what have I been up to since last April? Well, to be honest, a lot. Last April left me broken hearted, so I was in repair mode for awhile. I had thought I met "the one", but then life happens when it is supposed to happen and showed me that "it" has other plans for me. So I focused on myself. Meditation. My girl. Making new friendships. We also got a new puppy, Gracie.
I've also been spending some weekends of the month at my old farm, Northwind Llama Ranch. There are still some old friends living there, and I feel fortunate to go there. My ex and Olivia's other dad still has it.
Speaking of Michigan (that's where the farm/ranch is), Olivia and I went out and bought some new chicks. We were going to buy two, but the very kind lady said we had to buy six! So, yep, there are six new chicks. They are going to be living in Olivia's first grade class for the week, then some will go to Michigan. Yes, I said some. I'm pretty sure I am going to try out being an urban backyard chicken person. Just don't tell my neighbors. Yet. :)
So, I can't wait for spring warmth, greenery and flowers! This brown and beige color palette has got to CHANGE. I have some good ideas in mind for the yard, and some in the planning stages. Definitely more flowers. And plants that stay green all year round to help with the brown shades of late winter.
So, that's it in a nutshell. I'll keep you posted more often than once a year.
Till my next post!Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2550366142238853442.post-43069743932029542272012-04-27T09:41:00.001-07:002012-04-27T09:41:18.294-07:00Often I wake up in the middle of the night and look in on my daughter sleeping soundly, and think to myself how perfect my little life is.Papa Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03356297586865694613noreply@blogger.com1