It's a beautiful world.
Forget for just a moment if you can the wars, both political and personal, close your eyes and listen. Listen to nature, your child's laughter, your partners breath. There is so much good happening around us, it is just as important to give energy and importance to those happenings, no- it is even more important to give energy and importance to them than to the negative! We should all bring the positive to the forefront of our days. Sometimes we have to find the good, but believe me, it is out there.
Yesterday we had a little break in the weather. I was able to open my windows and let some fresh air in. It was great, as not only did the house breathe a little, but as I was getting ready for work, the sounds of sparrows were heard. Sparrows, which my science teacher were brought over from England for the theater, and so that our English immigrant ancestors could hear a familiar sound they liked so much from their homeland in their gardens.
So, if your view is the side of a brick building, or your view is of the ocean, take a moment, take a deep breath, and think to yourself- it is a beautiful world.

It's March 2nd and I am starting to feel the shift that comes with the onset of spring!
I have noticed the birds, for one thing, have been singing outside. I also heard the geese, and saw some on the ground taking a break from their flight up from the south.
I have been showing my daughter the signs of spring: the big buds on the magnolia's, the start of buds on the trees, the sounds of the birds... love the sounds of the birds..., and the melting snow. We are both looking forward to the colors that will come in the way of green grass, yellow daffodils and different color tulips in our yard!
Olivia is really into color. Her teacher recently gave the class "worry dolls", those little dolls from Guatemala. You tell them your worries before you go to bed and supposedly they make your worries go away. Well, she said they are also "wish dolls" (!), and you can tell them your wishes and they will come true. I asked her what her wish was, and she said she couldn't tell me or the wish wouldn't come true. I said she was right! Well, after school today she was sitting in her car seat and said, "daddy, my wishes didn't come true." I said,"oh, thats o.k., sometimes wishes take awhile to come true!" She said, "well, I wished that everything would be pink. The school, the houses, and our car!" Yep, my girl definitely sees her world through rose colored glasses! And thank God not every wish comes true!
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It's been a while since I've last blogged, and the reason is I've been busy being happy!
I love the people I have in my life now- an awesome daughter that keeps me focused on what is right and beautiful in this world;
a wonderful man that makes me laugh, makes me love, and makes me happy and excited to see him; and a wonderfully supportive family that I would wish for everybody!
For the first time in three years, I know what it is like to be in a good relationship. No hidden agendas, nothing to hide- just living openly and honestly, and with hope and honesty for a future!
So yeah, things are going well- busy being happy!

Monday

Today is my day off. This is the day that after I drop Olivia off at school, she won't bless our home for a week.
Mondays used to be such a hard day for me for that reason. Not that they have become any easier, for I always miss her this first night especially. One of the things I do on Mondays, my day off of work and parenting, is to clean and get some errands done.
And when I clean, I think. I think about all sorts of things.
I think of what makes these walls my home, and can't help sometimes of trying to parallel my home with the apartment in Milwaukee we called home. One of the most important to me is family. At one point, my brothers and I lived there with my mom. Then it was two sisters, my younger brother and mom. We were always welcome home, in between jobs, homes, after college, before careers started, and especially during holidays. A cornerstone of our family is our mom. She will still open her home to her kids with open arms and heart.
So here, I try to create my family, which seems abbreviated in week on/ week off. I have filled some of the void with my pets, but alas, no matter how much I like them, they aren't people. I have a wonderful man in my life who has been so good and patient.
Things may not be perfectly the way I like them in the "right now", but they are getting closer. A plan is in place. Goals are set. And with faith and a good sprinkling of hope, I am thinking things are going to be just fine.

Love.
In it. Out of it. Looking for it. Lost it. Whatever part of love you have right now, you have to admit it is probably one of the most powerful emotions we as humans can feel.
Right now, I am in it. Big time! One of the side effects of love is yearning. Another may be anticipation. Like seeing him again, and feeling, well, safe and whole. Not that one isn't whole by oneself, but if you have been in love, you know what I am talking about. It feels good!
And what about those little "coincidences" that happen when you are thinking about your love? Is there such thing as coincidence? Right now as I write this, his "morning song" came on. Have you ever experienced that? Thinking about your loved one and a song comes on that is special to the two of you? Or maybe a scent. Or an image comes to your consciousness, and the phone rings and there they are. Or a simple text.
No matter what part of love you may be experiencing, you have to admit it- love is a beautiful thing!

It's the middle of January. Tonight it is going to be only 4 degrees, but with a wind chill of -20. And I am feeling good!
I have taken my own advice, the kind of advice I've given to friends before. This time it's for me. I am living honestly and openly, and for the first time in a long time, I am going to be living for myself. Of course I am still responsible for my daughter! But now, I am going to put more energy towards my adult life.
I want my two worlds to meet.
For awhile, I have worried about being public with my personal relationships. Not anymore. It feels good to talk to friends, clients about the man I am dating. I want the people to know the person I am choosing to be with. I really feel that way! And I want people to experience what I am experiencing- joy, happiness, and the ability to be free to love openly the person you want to love.
No more hiding. No more skirting "the question". Yes, I am in a relationship! Yes, I am very happy with who I am with!
And I wish that for everyone.

Making the Most

Today as I was driving to work, lost somewhere in my own thoughts (of course!), I happened to look up at a lady in a Statue of Liberty outfit handing out pamphlets for something on sale or for a business- Bedding Experts? Tax place? I was imagining myself in that costume, and how embarrassed I would be. Then I looked at the woman's face- she must have been about 60- and to my surprise, she wasn't looking depressed and long in face- she was smiling! And, maybe- really?- laughing! That took me out of my thoughts, and I started smiling, too! How cool is it that she was making the most of her situation! She was having fun! And as I was driving away, I was thinking that what I saw has to be a lesson. Make the most of what is given to you, and smile! You never know who's life you may be affecting!